I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
