You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
