I love black thongs
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
