you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
