It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
