i don't like sucking hair
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Rumble strips road head = magical
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
