i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
