3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I want to make a zoo with you.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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