And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
