God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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