I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
