I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
