Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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