Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
