It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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