I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize