careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
