my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
