Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
