On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
