How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
