Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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