Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
