So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
