I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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