You can't special order awesome
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
