the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
