Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
