Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
