Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i think i just lost a toe
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
