i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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