i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dear god my vagina.
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