i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
