i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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