You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
