I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
