your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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