So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This is my gift to your gina
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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