Whod you bang
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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