Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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