Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
