At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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