this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
