its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
