I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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