I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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