There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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