God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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