I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
