I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
