I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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