Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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