why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
