I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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