So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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