Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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