Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
