I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
