Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
