yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
