are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
