meet me or not, i'm out of control
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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