for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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