Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
