Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
