I feel like I'm in dance class right now
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
