He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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