dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
